Lament for the Magus

 'The state of man dois change and vary,
Now sound, now seik, now blyth, now sary,
Now dansand merry, now like to die;
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.'
        - William Dunbar, 'Lament for the Makars' (c.1450)

***

Yesterday morning, I walked to the shops. I listened to a short fifteen-minute podcast, released on Wednesday, written by Terry Robinson of Mage: the Podcast and performed by an actor, since he was - he said - recovering from a short illness.

Yesterday morning, Terry Robinson died.

I didn't know the man in the least, had never even exchanged a message despite lurking on the M:tP discord for years at this point. As such, I'm going to try to thread a needle here: His works meant a great deal to me, and I don't have any angle to approach a eulogy except from the perspective of what those works meant to me. However, I don't want to get too parasocial with it, or to do what Dunbar did and turn the deaths of those I respect into an opportunity to navel-gaze about my own mortality. I'm sorry if I get it wrong.

***

'Unto the deid goes all Estatis, 
Princes, Prelatis, and Potestatis,
Baith rich and purir, of all degree;
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.

...

He sparis no lord for his puissance,
Na clerk for his intelligence;
His awful straik may no man flee;
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.

Art magicianis, and astrologis,
Rethoris, logicianis, and theologis,
Them helpis no conclusionis sle;
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.'
        - William Dunbar, 'Lament for the Makars' (c.1450)

***

Terry Robinson was the primary host of M:tP for much of its existence, and of Pain in the Dice, a podcast featuring reviews and discussion of the TTRPG industry. He also co-hosted Systematic Understanding of Everything, a podcast explainer of the setting of Exalted, and I'm sure some other things I haven't heard of. 

A fuller and more rounded obituary is presented by Josh Heath on the M:tP discord. Here's a screenshot if you aren't on there.


I've listened to virtually all of his podcasts, because he was an exceptional host. He was, on air, extremely learned, constantly referencing different complex topics outside of a nominal focus whilst also acknowledging when something fell out of his area of expertise. (Not a universal trait amongst academics, and well above the bar for a TTRPG podcast host.) He was consistently respectful, able to discuss even peoples' deepest-held beliefs with them and ask insightful questions  regardless of their differences whilst still expressing his own opinions effectively. He thought critically about games without ever blowing fandom or personal-taste issues out of proportion. He had a good sense of humour. I don't think humility is especially virtuous in itself, but he was humble for what that's worth. I don't know, he was just really good at it. 

Because of Mage: the Podcast, I ran a game of Mage, which flopped. Because of Mage: the Podcast, I kept thinking about it, and eventually ran a one-shot which went well and turned into a campaign... which flopped. Because of Mage: the Podcast, that will not be the last time I run Mage. Without its sweeping scholarship of the game and broad surveys of potential inspirations, I doubt I would still be thinking about one of my favourite games.

Because of Systematic Understanding of Everything, I read Exalted 3e after bouncing off the corebook a couple of years before. Robinson was being the 'audience surrogate' outsider in that, and I figured if he could find things to love about it, maybe I could too, so I dived back in. Exalted's now near to the top of my to-run list, and I spend a lot more time thinking about it than I would ever have believed, including about the setting economics that he spent so much time bringing up. 

There are few people who have influenced my RPG hobby and the surrounding thoughts more than Terry Robinson, to the point where so many of his little comments and observations have shaped my own thoughts on games that I'm struggling to disentangle them to write about beyond the most obvious cases. I'm tempted to fill space railing about the fact that his focus on non-d20 games has seemingly limited his reach, because he deserves to be considered amongst the greats of the modern TTRPG sphere, but what's the use of that? Things are as they are, people like what they like, and no amount of fame makes much difference to death.

***

'I see that makaris amang the lave,
Playis here their pageant, syne gois to grave;
Sparit is not their facultie; 
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.'

...

Sen for the deid remead is none, 
Best is that we for deid dispone,
Eftir our deid that live may we;
    Timor Mortis conturbat me.'
        - William Dunbar, 'Lament for the Makars' (c.1450)

***

Dunbar's obviously talking about after-life, about which I don't know Robinson's opinions, but I think that last point stands even if you're a militant atheist. It's cliched to say that we live on through our works, but it isn't wrong.  The word 'meme', a mage favourite, is templated on 'gene' for a reason. The information that we put out into the world constantly by existing, if it changes somebody else, is a literal replication or mutation of the patterns of our own existence, and this is doubly true for things like political arguments or works of art that aim to introduce new thoughts and thoughtways; triply true for an interactive medium like TTRPGs where people create characters as little personae within themselves. Multiply that by the number of people who listened to Robinson's works, (I believe M:tP alone once estimated some large fraction of 10,000 listeners) and you get one huge ripple effect.

Doesn't mean his name will always be spoken, but he'll have changed reality more than most can say, and if his own example is anything to go by it'll be for the more thoughtful, the kinder, the more interesting, and the higher in density of Mage players.

RIP Terry Robinson. May your Avatar return to us soon.





Quotes are sourced from The Norton Anthology of Poetry, Shorter Fourth Edition, edited by Margaret Ferguson, Mary Jo Salter, and Jon Stallworthy





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